Chapter 8 - THE DIVORCE
The divorce took fourteen months.
No spectacular courtroom battle.
Mostly spreadsheets.
Parenting schedules.
Property valuations.
Insurance.
Retirement accounts.
Legal arguments boring enough to cure insomnia.
The house was sold.
Derek wanted to keep it initially.
Then discovered refinancing and equalization would be expensive.
We agreed to sell.
I received my share of the marital equity after accounting.
The SUV?
Sold too.
I bought a used Subaru.
In my name.
Derek kept his retirement accounts subject to the agreed division.
I kept mine.
The brokerage and savings accounts were divided according to tracing and settlement.
Nobody got everything.
Nobody got nothing.
That was reality.
The final parenting plan gave Derek substantial parenting time that increased as Emily grew.
I did not try to erase him.
He had missed her birth.
That did not mean he should miss her childhood if he could become a safe, responsible father.
He completed a parenting course voluntarily.
Therapy too.
The financial-control issues became part of mediation discussions, especially how future child expenses would be handled.
We created rules:
Written shared expense records.
No one-sided financial decisions about Emily’s major needs.
Direct access to insurance information.
Clear reimbursement procedures.
Boring.
Wonderful.
At the final hearing, Derek looked at me across the courtroom.
Afterward he approached.
“Is this really it?”
“Yes.”
He looked older.
“So the marriage ends because I didn’t take you to the hospital.”
I almost became angry.
Then realized he genuinely still needed the correction.
“No.”
He waited.
“The marriage ended because when I needed you most, you behaved exactly the way you had been behaving for years.”
His face changed.
“The hospital was just the first time I stopped explaining it away.”
He nodded slowly.
May you like
That was the closest he came to understanding.
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