Chapter 7 - THE PACEMAKER DIDN’T FIX MY LIFE
People expected the pacemaker to transform everything instantly.
It did not.
It treated the dangerous slow rhythm.
That was enormous.
But I had spent nearly a year living cautiously.
Avoiding stairs when dizzy.
Sitting on shower floors.
Sleeping badly.
Fear became habit.
After implantation, I kept checking my pulse.
I avoided driving for the period my doctors recommended.
I panicked the first time my vision blurred from simply standing too quickly.
Dr. Shah referred me to cardiac rehabilitation support and counseling.
I resisted counseling at first.
Daniel had spent months using words like anxiety against me.
I did not want another mental-health label.
Dr. Shah said something I needed.
“Being anxious after unpredictable loss of consciousness is not evidence that the episodes were imaginary.”
Both things could be true.
Physical illness.
Emotional consequences.
Treatment for one did not invalidate the other.
So I went.
Slowly, my body became mine again.
I walked farther.
Slept better.
Returned to part-time work.
Then full-time.
Lily stopped watching me every time I stood up.
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That may have been the best measure of recovery.
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