Chapter 7 - WHEN WE THOUGHT SHE WAS FORGETTING
That fall, Steven called me.
“I think something’s wrong with Mom.”
My stomach tightened.
“What?”
“She repeated the same story twice yesterday.”
“That proves she’s a parent.”
“I’m serious.”
He listed things.
She forgot an appointment.
Left her grocery list in the car.
Could not remember a neighbor’s name.
Fear spread quickly.
Our grandmother had developed dementia in her eighties.
Suddenly every forgotten word looked dangerous.
The old version of our family would have begun discussing Mom without her.
This time, we included her.
She was furious.
“I’m seventy-four. I forget things.”
“We know.”
“Do you?”
Steven looked ashamed.
Mom agreed to see her doctor.
The evaluation found no immediate evidence of a major cognitive disorder.
Her physician did identify poor sleep, stress, and the mental exhaustion of following difficult conversations.
Mom looked at us afterward.
“So I’m old and tired.”
The doctor smiled.
“That is not my official diagnosis.”
“It should be.”
We laughed.
But the appointment taught us something.
We had nearly turned another fear into control.
Again.
Driving.
Memory.
Hearing.
Each new vulnerability tempted us to make decisions for her.
Care required something harder.
Staying close enough to notice without assuming authority too early.
Mom began using a large kitchen calendar.
Hannah helped program phone reminders.
Ben labeled one alarm:
GRANDMA DON’T FORGET YOUR HEARING THINGS
Mom changed it to:
BEN DON’T FORGET YOUR HOMEWORK
The war continued for weeks.
May you like
She won.
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