Chapter 8 - THE APOLOGY THAT CAME TOO LATE
Julian appeared at my office two days after the DNA results.
My receptionist called upstairs.
“Eleanor, your husband is here.”
I corrected her automatically.
“My estranged husband.”
She paused.
“Would you like me to ask him to leave?”
I considered.
Then said, “Give us ten minutes.”
Julian entered carrying nothing.
No flowers.
No gifts.
No rehearsed smile.
He looked exhausted.
“Ellie.”
I remained behind my desk.
“Julian.”
He sat.
For a long time, neither spoke.
Then he whispered:
“The twins aren't mine.”
“I heard.”
He looked down.
“Chloe lied.”
I stared at him.
“Yes.”
He swallowed.
“I don't know what to do.”
I felt an old instinct rise.
The instinct to comfort him.
To move beside him.
To tell him everything would be okay.
For eleven years, I had been the person who softened his disappointments.
Then I remembered Margaret's birthday dinner.
The lemon tart.
The silence.
I folded my hands.
“I'm sorry you're hurting.”
His eyes filled.
“Ellie.”
I waited.
He leaned forward.
“I made a terrible mistake.”
I shook my head.
“No, Julian.”
He flinched.
“You made a series of choices.”
He stared.
“You chose to have an affair.”
His face reddened.
“You chose to lie.”
He looked down.
“You chose to let your mother blame me for our infertility.”
Tears filled my eyes.
“And when you thought Chloe was pregnant with your children, you decided I was no longer worth protecting.”
Julian covered his face.
“I know.”
“No,” I said quietly. “I don't think you do.”
He looked up.
I continued.
“You didn't leave me because we couldn't have children.”
My voice shook.
“You left me because you believed another woman could give you something you thought I couldn't.”
He began crying.
“Ellie, I still love you.”
I stared.
For years, those words would have been enough to make me stay.
Now they sounded terribly small.
“Then why did you treat me like someone you could replace?”
He had no answer.
He reached across the desk.
“Can we try again?”
I looked at his hand.
Then at him.
“No.”
He froze.
“Ellie, please.”
I shook my head.
“Our marriage didn't end when the DNA results arrived.”
His eyes filled.
“It ended when you decided my dignity was expendable.”
I stood.
The meeting was over.
Julian remained seated.
Then whispered:
“I thought I was finally going to be a father.”
I looked at him.
“And I thought I had a husband.”
He began crying harder.
May you like
But I walked to the door.
For once, I did not stay to make his pain easier.
