Chapter 7 - I FINALLY SAW GRETCHEN AGAIN
Gretchen accepted responsibility.
Not perfectly.
Not quickly.
Her cooperation reduced some uncertainty but did not erase what she had done.
She eventually pleaded to charges supported by her conduct and received a sentence reflecting her role, cooperation, and the evidence.
Before sentencing, she asked to meet me.
I said no.
Then changed my mind six months later.
Lawyers present.
Neutral room.
She looked nothing like the woman I heard above the cliff.
No designer coat.
No confident smile.
She sat with her hands folded.
“I’m sorry.”
I waited.
She cried.
I did not rescue her.
“I told myself he wouldn’t actually do it.”
I stared.
“You asked what if I didn’t go near the edge.”
Her face collapsed.
“Yes.”
“So you knew.”
“Yes.”
There it was.
Not enough to make her the person who pushed me.
Enough to make her responsible for standing beside him as he planned.
She whispered:
“I thought he would scare you.”
“Into what?”
“Signing away control.”
“And if I refused?”
She cried harder.
“I didn’t let myself finish that thought.”
That sentence sounded cowardly.
Because it was.
She continued:
“I loved him.”
I almost laughed.
“No.”
She looked up.
“You loved what he promised you.”
Money.
Status.
A future.
My place.
Maybe love too.
People can combine terrible motives with real emotions.
That does not absolve anything.
Then Gretchen said:
“When he pushed you…”
She stopped.
I felt the room disappear.
“What?”
“He looked down.”
“I know.”
“He waited.”
My stomach turned.
“For what?”
“To see if you moved.”
I closed my eyes.
“How long?”
“Maybe thirty seconds.”
“Then?”
“He said the drop was enough.”
She began sobbing.
“I wanted to call for help.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because he said if you were alive and we called, we were both finished.”
“So you left.”
“Yes.”
I opened my eyes.
For years after, that admission returned in nightmares.
Thirty seconds.
Two people looking down.
Me on a ledge.
My son kicking inside me.
Then walking away.
I stood.
Gretchen looked terrified.
I said only:
“Thank you for finally telling the truth.”
Then left.
I did not forgive her.
May you like
I did not need to.
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