Chapter 6 - THE BOY WHO STOPPED CALLING HIM DAD
Ethan's first supervised visit with Alexander took place two weeks later.
Our attorney had arranged it in a neutral family center.
I waited in the adjoining room.
Ethan carried his blue dinosaur.
Alexander arrived wearing a dark suit.
He looked exhausted.
When he saw Ethan, his face softened.
“Hey, buddy.”
Ethan didn't answer.
Alexander crouched.
“I missed you.”
My son looked at the floor.
The visitation supervisor gently suggested they sit together.
Alexander nodded.
He tried asking about school.
About soccer.
About dinosaurs.
Ethan answered politely.
But he never smiled.
Finally, Alexander said, “Ethan, I'm sorry about Grandma.”
My son's fingers tightened around the dinosaur.
Alexander continued.
“I should have been there.”
Ethan looked up.
“Yes.”
The single word made Alexander flinch.
He swallowed.
“I made a terrible mistake.”
Ethan stared.
“Why did you yell at Mommy?”
Alexander lowered his eyes.
“I was angry.”
“Why?”
“I didn't know how to handle what happened.”
Ethan's voice trembled.
“You told us to apologize.”
Alexander closed his eyes.
“I know.”
“Grandma was dead.”
“I know.”
“And you told Mommy to stop talking about her.”
Alexander's face crumpled.
Ethan looked at him.
Then asked, “Do you still think I should say sorry?”
Alexander shook his head.
“No.”
My son swallowed.
“Then why did you say it?”
Alexander had no answer.
Ethan stood.
“I want Mommy.”
The supervisor nodded.
The visit ended early.
When Ethan came into the waiting room, he climbed into my lap.
I held him.
He whispered, “I don't want to go back yet.”
I kissed his forehead.
“You don't have to decide anything today.”
He nodded.
Then looked toward the closed door.
“Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“Can I call him Alexander for a while?”
My heart broke.
I stroked his hair.
“You can call him whatever feels comfortable and respectful.”
He nodded.
May you like
And for the first time, I realized that Alexander hadn't simply lost his wife's trust.
He had lost the effortless love of a little boy who used to believe his father could do anything.
