Chapter 9 - THE APOLOGY
Emily apologized to Lily four months after the birthday.
Not sooner.
I wouldn't allow a rushed reconciliation simply because adults were uncomfortable.
Lily's therapist helped us decide when.
Emily came to our house alone.
No gift.
Important.
She sat across from Lily.
“I stole your birthday check.”
Lily looked at me.
I stayed quiet.
Emily continued.
“I told myself I needed it more.”
Then:
“That wasn't true in a way that mattered.”
Lily asked:
“Were you going to give it back?”
Emily's face crumpled.
“No.”
Truth.
“Did Aiden ask you?”
“No.”
“Did Grandpa?”
“No.”
Lily thought.
Then:
“Why me?”
The hardest question.
Emily answered:
“Because I thought you would let me.”
My eyes filled.
So did hers.
“I knew your mom would be angry.”
Emily swallowed.
“But I thought if I made everyone feel bad enough, you'd say it was okay.”
Lily looked down.
“That was mean.”
“Yes.”
“I always say it's okay.”
“I know.”
“I'm trying not to.”
Emily started crying.
“Good.”
Lily did not hug her.
Nobody demanded it.
Then Lily said:
“I forgive you a little.”
I almost smiled.
Emily did too.
“A little is more than I expected.”
Good answer.
At the door, Emily looked at me.
“I owe you an apology too.”
“Yes.”
She almost laughed.
“I hate when you're like this.”
“I've become unbearable.”
“Grandma says boundaries made you cocky.”
“She absolutely did not.”
“No.”
Emily smiled.
Then became serious.
“I resented you.”
“I know.”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“I resented that you didn't need everybody.”
I stared.
“I did.”
“You never acted like it.”
There it was.
My own family role.
I had spent years making competence look effortless.
Perhaps everyone had mistaken silence for abundance.
It didn't excuse them.
But it explained something.
Emily continued:
“When you adopted Lily, I thought…”
She stopped.
“Say it.”
“I thought Grandma was overcompensating.”
My jaw tightened.
“For her not being biological.”
“Yes.”
“That's ugly.”
“I know.”
“Do you still believe it?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Emily looked back toward the living room, where Lily was painting beside David.
“Because she shouldn't have to be grateful for being treated equally.”
May you like
That was the first thing my sister had said in months that sounded like real change.
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